This Is My Prayer, I Swear
by with-etoiles
Summary: "…You're all outcasts. But within these walls, you're not. You belong here. If we can at least agree on one thing, can it be that?"  Curly!Blaine and Blaine is a ball of angst


Blaine stared around in wonder around him. Being a naturally observant person, he couldn't help but notice how well the New Directions interacted with each other as a group. Their group dynamic was so oddly cold, yet the undertone of warmth was there. He could tell they were all merely acting like they hated each other; their faces were too kind to actually be angry. Even though he'd seen them together before, that had been while they were all under the temporary intoxication of alcohol. Now though, he could see everyone's true interactions within their little dysfunctional family. Rachel was strongly inserting that she should be honored with the solo for sectionals this year, and Finn was smiling warmly at her. According to Kurt, they had an on and off relationship, but that they always were chasing after each other.

"I remember around Christmas time, all the drama she stirred up," Kurt had told Blaine once. "Of course, Santana had started it but Rachel just took it and freaking tore off with it."

"Wait- but you were at Dalton around Christmas time-?" Blaine responded, with a puppyish look of confusion on his face.

Kurt blushed a bit remembering his time at Dalton, during Christmas, warm drifting music swelling up and out of the tiny room, the heat that had pervaded his heart and soul as he sang a flirty duet with this beautiful boy who was now sitting in front of him, completely his_… _"Mercedes texted me endlessly. I suspect that she was dealing with Rachel's drama the only way one can, by talking to the only other sane person she knew."

"Was it that bad? What did Santana do?" Blaine had asked, rather innocently he saw now in hindsight.

"Worked her seductive magic and banged Finn in a hotel room," he had stated bluntly.

Blaine had remembered being so shocked at how frank he was. "So, Santana is a bit-"

"-of a whore? Yeah. You'll learn."

"I was going to say _promiscuous_, but that works too."

Kurt had just smiled cheekily. "Like I said, you'll learn."

Blaine distinctly remembered his stomach twisting. Images of jaunting smiles, leering words and hard fists invaded his mind. They swam through his vision, blurring everything except Kurt. At McKinley, he'd have Kurt. That'd be enough, he always told himself. That'd have to be enough.

"Enough!" Mr. Shuester's stern face snapped him back to the present. "We can decide the matter later, if needed. But for now you all need to get along. You're all a family, ok? You may all pretend to hate each other, but deep down you all know that you're all the same. You're all outcasts. But within these walls, you're not. You belong here. If we can at least agree on one thing, can it be that?"

The assembled group of outcasts, recluses, and castaways nodded reluctantly. They could all taste their own personal shortcomings in their mouths, thrown at them in the form of both physical and verbal abuse, bitter and sour memories. They knew how it felt like, and these four walls were a sort of sanctuary for all of them. No matter how much they bickered and fought, they all knew that underneath they would stand for each other, run to the world's end for each other. Blaine just observed from the outside as the heavy air of understanding settled around them. He got that odd feeling of seclusion again, that came way too often he suddenly realized. The only thing that kept him sane in the deep silence was Kurt's hand gently squeezing his. _Kurt is here. That's enough._

* * *

><p>The next day, Blaine was walking Kurt to class when it came. It was almost as if time had slowed down when it happened. He saw icy tentacles baring their stinging tentacles towards his face, stretching mercilessly towards him every second. He saw the dye separate from the ice, forming a morbidly colorful trail behind the ice. The ice hit first, pitilessly slapping him straight in the face. Then came the liquid, it's whiny, pretentious voice proclaiming the success of the attack and how it was the final slap in the face, literally. When Blaine had automatically closed his eyes, another memory blocked his thoughts.<p>

He had been walking around rather proudly, oblivious to the looks he had been receiving. Girls whispered and giggled while boys spat out short, hard laughs. He didn't care then. He was proud of his clothes. Finally, he had thought, he was expressing himself. His parents had cautiously warned him about the fashion choice, although looking back he was sure it was more for their reputation than his. "Be careful, son," his father had warned. "You don't want people to get the wrong idea."

"_Well fuck you dad!" _his mind added in subconsciously. Instead, he had simply said, "This is what I want to wear," and closed the topic at that. He was growing, and when you grew you were supposed to figure out who you were. So, why couldn't he? Why were his fashion choices considered wrong? What was wrong with it? What was wrong with _him_?

Kurt's lips on his forehead brought him back to reality. Too bad this reality included homophobic kids and harsh disapproval, again.

"I just got slushied, didn't I?" he asked with a flat laugh.

Kurt simply shook his head yes.

"Unfortunately, it's a bit of a ritual here at McKinley. For glee club members, at least. And you know, our situation doesn't help with that."

Blaine was really grateful that there was no one else in the boy's bathroom right now, or else Kurt wouldn't have been as free with his kisses as he was now. He was gently wiping his face, that was true, but he also periodically planted soft kisses on his face, trying to cheer him up.

"You know, I'm so sorry. I know this is probably brings back memories of your old school. Hopefully though, you can do what you came here for. Rid yourself of that nasty lump in your throat. At least you don't have to worry about having no bullies to face up to!" Kurt sadly laughed at his cheap joke, feeling the misery pressing them both down even more.

"Kurt," Blaine began tenderly, "It's true that I came here because of that, yes. But I also came here because of _you_. I would've never had the courage to try to face up to them if it weren't for you."

"Courage," Kurt repeated amusedly, his breath ghosting Blaine's face.

"Yeah, courage," Blaine confirmed, breaking out into genuine laughter. Their laughter filled the bathroom , tenderly exerting pressure on the gloom present just moments before, trying to push it out gently. Their shaky humor laden breaths skimmed each other's faces. An air of longing coasted into the atmosphere, now. They stared at each other achingly, each yielding to the prevalent longing and leaning in closer. Quicker and nearer they approached, their lips nearly a breath apart. Then suddenly a door creaked, and they both hastily jerked their faces apart. Kurt picked up a towel and resumed gently dabbing Blaine's face.

* * *

><p>Two days later, Kurt approached Blaine by his locker, carting Mercedes behind him.<p>

"Hey Kurt! And Mercedes! What brings you to Locker de Anderson?"

Mercedes laughed childishly at Blaine's joke. Kurt just pressed on with the matter at hand. "Mercedes and I are staging a fashion intervention."

Apparently, the look on Blaine's face was amusing, because Mercedes nearly doubled over in laughter.

"Mercedes- please. We have a matter to be attended to."

"Right, I'm sorry. Your boyfriend is just so confused it's funny."

"Mercedes, please."

"Right, sorry again." Her demeanor became playfully serious; Kurt was still painfully serious besides her. "Kurt here has decided that he is done putting up with the travesty that is your hair."

Mercedes giggled again at Blaine's face and then assumed the mock seriousness. "Blaine, you need an intervention. In all seriousness, how many bottles of hair gel must it take to get your hair like that?"

Blaine frowned. "Um, well, I mean, only one but-"

"Blaine honey," Kurt interjected, "please don't lie. That shine can be seen from Mount Everest and beyond."

"Ok, fine, it may take more than one but I have very pronounced curls!"

Holding her stomach, Mercedes emitted strange noises of inhalation as her head bobbed comically back and forth. "I'm sorry Kurt, but I can't do this. Blaine- love ya honey, but you need to stop gelling your hair. I bet it's awkward for Kurt when you two are making-"

"Up up up!" Kurt interjected, his cheeks tinged a cute color of pink. "Off you go!"

"Whatever Hummel; later Anderson. And remember, stop gelling your hair! Mercedes out."

Kurt turned back towards Blaine, his mouth still agape with embarrassment. Suddenly, he assumed such a look of solemnity that now Blaine was getting scared. He even started to involuntarily back up…

"I suppose if I am to get through to him," he heard him mutter determinedly. "You know," Kurt blushed again, "she's right."

"Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed with a tint of mortification and a tiny bit of smugness.

"Kurt nothing. Just remember, you are not a Warbler anymore. No more demanded conformity. That includes your hair."

"Fine!" Blaine exclaimed exasperatedly. "If I promise to not put even a drop of gel in my hair tomorrow, can this be over?"

Kurt perked up. "Love ya honey!"

As he walked away, Blaine shook his head. "That's my Kurt," he said quietly to himself.

* * *

><p>It was Friday, which meant the end of his first week at McKinley. As promised, he kept his hair in all it's wild curliness, which subsequently made him finger it every minute or so. When he walked in, Kurt shot him a million watt smile and flounced up to him.<p>

"Blaineee!" he sang all too enthusiastically. He reached his hand up to playfully muss his hair.

"Only for you," Blaine reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah. Just wait, I'll change your mind."

Mr. Schuester burst into the room at a determined gait.

"Mr. Schuester loves to make his dramatic entrances, doesn't he?" Blaine whispered to Kurt as they shuffled to their seats.

"Do I have to remind you of _Misery_? Papers flying everywhere, overly enunciated _Oh Yeah-"_

"Alright Kurt, point taken." Blaine mock withdrew from Kurt, slapping an embarrassed look on his face as Kurt giggled silently.

"Alright," Mr. Schuester began, "I know that we still have the issue of who will get the solo for Sectionals on our hands, but I think a bigger issue is present here." He looked pointedly at Kurt.

"Although we have been welcoming, I feel like our newcomer is still having a hard time adjusting to life at McKinley High. I was talking about all of us being a family here, but I feel like one of our members still feels a little outcast. So Kurt-?"

Kurt walked in an excited gait to the front of the room. To Blaine's surprise, the rest of the New Directions shuffled out of their seats too.

"Blaine," he began, staring directly at him, "I know that your first week here has been tough. And since I'm not the most eloquent person, I've decided to express myself through song."

Mercedes moved to Kurt's side. "Kurt told us about how hard the transfer is for you, and we all know firsthand how brutal McKinley can be." The New Directions sighed in agreement.

Rachel's voice rang through the mass of students behind Kurt. "Kurt wanted to make you happy, but he didn't know what to say to do so. So he consulted all of us to help him in his task to cheer you up."

Quinn was next. "I know how it feels like to not belong, especially when you're coming from being on the top to feeling like you're under the dog pile."

Puck now. "You're pretty badass, did ya know that? I mean, you can rock the slicked hair do like a boss."

Kurt interrupted for a moment. "Puck, don't encourage him. It was hard enough to get him to give up the hair gel for today."

Puck laughed. "Right, sorry. Anyways, with your badassness, you're a perfect fit for this Glee Club." Lauren nodded sagely in agreement.

Finn's voice came in now. "You've made my brother happy, and that's more than I can ask for."

"You and Kurt's relationship is honestly the only sane relationship in this Glee Club, except for me and Tina of course." Mike joined in. That earned a few side looks from everyone else, though.

Brittany stepped forward. "Blaine Warbler, even though you aren't a Warbler anymore, you're still as adorable as you were before. You're so adorably happy all the time. We'd be the perfect friends."

Santana pressed down a laugh before speaking. "Anderson, although I don't know what type of wanky things you do to your boyfriend when we're not around-"

"Santana!" Kurt interjected.

"Oh shut up Hummel! Ya knows it's true! Anyways, I just wanted to say that we all know how you feel. And we know from experience what can make it better. And no, I don't mean giving your boyfriend a blowjob."

Artie shoved Santana, although Blaine couldn't quite tell if it was a mock shove or born out of actual resentment. "We're all so happy to see Kurt happy, so we just wanted to show you that."

Kurt addressed Blaine now. "I just want you to know that we all care about you, and we're here for you. You're part of the Glee family now. You don't have to be afraid to be yourself anymore. So, given your love for top 40 artists and my need to express this thought to you-"

Bright, poppy chords blast through the air; the Glee Club became animated. Kurt began crooning out the beginning "oohs" and the Glee club joined in for the second repetition.

Blaine recognized this song. It was Lady Gaga's Hair._ Now Kurt's fashion intervention makes sense._

"_Whenever you're dressed cool your parents put up a fight."_ Blaine shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat at the memories coming in again.

"_And if you're a hot shot mom will cut your hair at night_." Kurt was approaching Blaine now, grabbing his hands and pulling him towards the mess of dancing people.

_"And in the morning you're short of your identity."_ Kurt winked impishly.

_"You scream Mom and Dad why can't I be who I wanna be?" _

_ "You just wanna be yourself and you want me to love you for who you are. You just wanna be yourself and you want me to know, you are your hair."_

_ "You've had enough, this is your prayer, that you'll die living just as free as your hair." _Cue the rest of the New Directions dancing up to Blaine and rumpling his hair, and Brittany taking entirely too long feeling it.

"I love curls," she deadpanned, then a big smile lit up her face.

_"You've had enough, you're not a freak, you're just trying to play cool on the streets."_

Kurt's voice was so high that he should sound ridiculous singing this song, but he didn't. It was simply beautiful to Blaine's ears. The New Directions backing him added a richness to the fun, obnoxious beat. He could feel the air around him, taste the freshness floating about. He didn't feel like it was weighing him down anymore, he felt like it was entirely too buoyant now. Too lifting, too happy. He was a part of the Glee family, they were right. He could finally be himself. Even with his hair.

_"I've had enough, enough. This is my prayer, I swear. I'm as free as my hair." _Everyone let out a big whoop when they recognized Blaine's voice soaring above theirs.

Kurt leaned back onto Blaine's shoulder happily, singing up to his face._"You're as free as your hair."_


End file.
